By Bridget Bearss, RSCJ
I was enculturated to life in the USA...and one of the many customs that I learned about as a very young child was Mother's Day. The "rules" of the day and the "customs" of the occasion were really clear: Don't forget. Never take your mother for granted but take this day to let her know that you don't (take her for granted), because you probably do. Make something that comes from your heart. It's a nice touch to have a present, but really it's all about presence -- no faking it on Mother's Day because your mother could tell the difference. While the day could be understood as "obligation," it is better to think of it as "opportunity." And, if you think of it as an obligation, it's best not to let your Mother know that's how you feel about it.
At first, the pattern was a homemade card with a thumbprint on it followed by a slightly cooked breakfast. As time went along, the cards changed as did my heart -- through the ups and downs of living, learning, hurting and healing through the patterns of life -- she was always there. The only person in the world who called me by my Gaelic middle name, "Mayree" and still the remembrance moistens my analytic mind...interrupts problem solving with tender thanksgiving. Mother's Day always included two things: mass and breakfast. Later in life, there was the ritual of phone calls (some of us remember the days that the circuits were often busy on Mother's Day so it was best to call early... you never wanted to be the last of the five to call).
Mother's Day...we celebrate, we remember, we believe. In some ways, the first Mother's Day after my Mom died was when I got it. The hole that couldn't be filled by another. To celebrate the love, the tender understanding, the look that could change my behavior without a word, the other look that taught me what it means to be loved without condition, to know that the very best is expected of me and the very worst of me is still loved. Somehow, then I got it...the Feast of the Immaculate Conception is our Mother's Day in the church!
Today, is Mother's Day. We stop. We remember. We believe. We celebrate. We recall the sacrifice, the gifts given, the cherished moments of Mary, the mother of Jesus -- the mother of the Church -- the mother of each of us -- Mater Admirabilis. We remember the particular Grace she received from God and how she used it to benefit the Kingdom, not herself. We gather together to pray and while it is considered a day of obligation, it's best to think about it as an opportunity. Like our own mothers, there are lessons to be learned today about power and strength, about trusting God and living from the inside out, about what it means to give your life for the sake of your children while also coming into your own journey. We gather together to do what we cannot do alone -- to create the community and to be for one another what another has been for us...without anyone of us the puzzle of the face of God has a missing piece -- for together, all things are possible...for God, in God and through God.
Today is a day to remember...to celebrate...to believe...and to pray,
Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is With You...
Let us be grateful today (on this day of opportunity) for the gift of Mothers...and for the gift of Grace given to us, especially that gift of Grace in Mary.
(Sister Bridget Bearss is head of school at the Academy of the Sacred Heart, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. She shares reflections with her school community each day during Advent. We're glad we can share them with you, too. View her blog and sign up to receive notices of future posts.)
